heya people.
first of all. i would like to say my many thanks to those who wishes me a happy birthday.
from parent, to boyfriend, besties, friends and to those who i dont remember who.
thank you so much.

18 years of age.
nothing much changed. not underage. of course. haha.

celebration was fun.
15 august. with boyfriend.
a wonderful day spent indeed.
love u so much.

18 years of age.
im grateful. to have everyone whom i love and care about around me.

lastly,
im thankful. to god. for giving me the chance to live and grow for another year.

love y'all.


oh yeah baby.
enrolled myself.
have to wait. dammit. 13 october.


next up.
Chalet!, work, meeting up with girlfriends!
oh sweets.. i cant wait for all the excitements!
happy!

9 august. Happy Birthday Singapore.
nothing much was done.
Hasif got his gig at *scape.
crowd was bad. perhaps due to the weather or the way they market this event.
no plans after performance. therefore, window shop at cineleisure.
finally found the braziliano praia. i want it so much.
or perhaps i should say, im desperate for it? haha.


soon after that, went to PS for a meal.
followed by Marina square to meet hasif's parent.
this is not the first time meeting them. second.
it does not change a single thing.
i could see fire and hatred in his mom's eyes when i salam her.
what did i do wrong?
am i that bad?
it hurt so badly that i couldn't manage to hold back my tears on the way home.
told myself, i need to be strong. but i just couldn't.
i dont understand why.
why am i so hated at.
i did not kill anyone in the family.
on that very moment, i felt like i ruined the family. everyone was so quiet.
god knows how i feel at that point of time.
he was disappointed on how it turned out.
me? hurt.very.

i was so delighted when i have that dream in my sleep.
but in reality, it is just the otherwise.so dark filled with angst.


but on the other hand, meeting with his mom taught me and made me realize something.
that i have a wonderful family.
i may be too complacent at times. but i'm grateful that i have my mom.
my mom has been encouraging and teaches me a lot in life.
the way this family accepted Hasif, is something i couldnt ask for more.
i wouldn't want mom to know about this rejection.
god knows how she will feel.
parents did not raised up their kids to let their kids being mock or being hated at from anyone.
grateful. im so grateful.


and if ever one time,your mom were to hate me forever, and if ever i was ask to leave u.
i will.
a mother love is prominent than anything else.
even though it is unfair. but i will have to respect her.
if that's makes her happy. as a hated human being, ill step down.
whatever that makes people happy.


to be with someone's parent, i loves my parents more.
even though the meeting was a disappointing one, it has teaches me a lot.
and thanks to this family that i know where to stand and made me realize a lot about my family.
RESPECT. is all i've longed for and is all i have left to offer.

time. all i need is time.
just hope time will change everything.
i need someone to guide me along. to be strong.