Saturday, December 1

I know im not being myself lately.
i dont know why.
i can find myself either.
its just that,no one hears me out.
its just that i cant have the courage to tell u.to tell anyone.
Im so stupid and im dumb to care about other people feelings than taking care of my own.
sometimes i wonder why shud i do that?
maybe i dont want them to be hurt.feel lonely.and all those stuff.
im just plain stupid.
everything seems unfair.
i know u do care.
but i dont even feel it.
sometimes i question myself 'do u meant wad u did?'

im lost.
i dont expect anything else.
i just wish that everything is alright.
i just wish for a respect which i feel that my dignity has just been scratch till it bleed.
i just wish to be appreciated.
i just wish for everything to be fine like before.

i dont wish to repeat the history i had 9 months ago.
because i feel it now.at this very moment.
i dont think i can stand too long.
and my heart keep saying. its not anymore.
i know it is lying.
i dont wish to let the past haunt me back ryte now.
because i dont feel anything anymore.
i know time is all i need.
but i need that someone too.whom i can know that im not alone.
but looking back.
i never have that someone.

im just disappointed with how things are right now.
what exactly do i fucking want?
why do i care so much of people needs and wants?
and why do i let myself being stepped on?
why do people judge me without knowing me?
and why? why is these questions appear now?
im way too hurt.but i dont show.its not a fucking show and tell.
where do i stand?
at the corner of the room standing timidly among those bigger people?
i cant take it anymore.
but i know i have to be strong.
people are shellfish nowadays.
and i just need time.
time is all i need to be the medicine of this fucking life.

and im sorry if i ever behave in such manner.
i just felt that u dont listen that much.u dont take note that much.
its okay.
thats life.people only wants to hear them out.
but never hear or listen to what others are saying..
life is unfair.
ill remain being unheard.
like it is always be.
it is just not anymore...